Reflection

I read the story tonight of a friend who gave birth to her 2nd child, and to find out only when they placed her in her arms that her little angel had Downs Syndrome. She told of the love, but also the grief, the tears, the fears. (while my daughter does not have DS, she does have Autism & developmental delays)

Until a parent is told that their child is special needs, I don't think anyone can understand that, while we LOVE our child, more than life itself, we still cry. We still greive for what we have lost. Even if it is only the loss of the life we thought our child would have. We cry b/c the unknown of parenting a special needs child is scary & overwhelming, and there is that fear of simply the unknown. My mind raced from will she be able to go to college? Will she be able to date? Get married? Have a family? Or the basic of...will I ever hear the words, "I love you" from my daughter...and have her understand what she is saying and MEAN it. Fortunately I HAVE had that privilege. My daughter HAS reached the point where (although only briefly) she will make eye contact and say I love you. She has reached a the point of greeting others and showering them with hugs and smiles. This is truely something I didn't know if or when she would ever do it. I am so greatful for the progress she has made. I love Abby. I know she was placed in my life for a reason. I might not understand that reason right now, and there are days that I find myself confused, frustrated and at my wits end trying to figure out how to parent this complicated child...but I know God has a plan for her. She is a special gem that he gave to me and blunder though I will through her growing up years, my hope is that she will live, laugh, & love life...even if she does it differently than most people. I am blessed to have her in my life.